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not fair, not nice, but it is.

Title: not fair, not nice, but it is.
Fandom: Queer as Folk
Characters: Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor
Paringa: Brian / Justin
Rating:
PG13 Genre: slash
Words: 1,467
Prompt: Loss of bingo_italia
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, blablabla
Notes: think it's a moment of 5x13 missing, I do not think it should be considered final post ... (The first part, invence, is a reminder of the period when Brian \u0026lt;3 had cancer ç_ç)

not fair,

non è bello,                  

ma è così.                 

 

 

When Brian opened the door of the loft, a smell of cooked struck him, making him rise again and vomiting. Bent on itself moved slowly toward the bed, wondering why her sexy nurse staff had not yet come to his aid, but without the willpower to recuperate and take your eyes off the floor ... God, Brian Kinney without strength of will, probably out the window donkeys were flying.

-Brian! -

just smiled, turning his head toward Justin, who hastened to meet him. The surrounded the Brian lives with his arms and, despite himself, he let himself go against him. Justin judged him to the bed, they took off his jacket, made him lie down and took off his shoes, making him feel a pathetic child in need of care.

Brian hated everything, but at the same time knowing that the watchful eyes of Justin and worried constantly looking for her and feel her fingers gently on the skin almost around the clock, as if Justin had the need to feel his heart beat and blood flow to be sure he was comfortable, it was something that Brian made her feel a bit ' Rott or less, which made him smile but could not even take a fucking spoonful of soup to his lips because his hands were shaking too much, which made him believe that the end was really worth the trouble of having renounced its long-awaited premature death.

-Brian did not know what it was, had never experienced anything like that. Probably if you asked him now, with a half smile, replied that it was love .-

Justin lay down beside him, covering them both with the duvet. Six first-Tonato .- whispered, Plan stroking the hair of Brian and his sweaty face frozen like that of a dead man.

-As everyone feels compelled to take care of me that you're the one I preferred to do so and Theodor .- The man's name accompanied with a grimace.

Justin smiled, feeling flattered by those words, as if Brian had finally raised the white flag openly to allow him to take care of him without feeling scream every time he tried to hold his forehead while vomiting was found in the loft or on his return.

-Want something to eat? - Sighed. Want

-vomit the soul? - Answered Brian, raising his eyebrows, although his eyes were closed.

Justin grinned and came over his face to the man, so much so that it, when Justin said, shivered, feeling the hot breath of his breath on their sweaty skin. -Why do you have one? -

Brian grinned in return.

-Jump to eat, Sunshine , then cools .- He said after several minutes of silence, in which the fingers of course Justin had, slow and delicate, the features of his visa and imaginary designs on her neck.

The blond did not answer, simply became more closely intertwined their legs and frame the face in his shoulder and neck. Brian, surrounded by the pleasant warmth of his Sunshine smiled smugly certain that Justin could not see it. It was in those moments he allowed himself to thank heaven for the obstinacy of that fucking kid, that despite the many insults and slammed doors in his face, he continued undaunted to keep up attached to the ass. With that smile again to lean gl'angoli lips fell asleep.

-

Brian awoke suddenly. The body Justin, now completely over him, moving in small steps, as when, after the assault, her nights were tormented by nightmares of that worm with Hobbs.

-Justin .- He called, trying to shake him by the shoulders. - Justin! - He repeated it again in a louder voice, worried.

Justin opened his eyes suddenly and looked up just as quickly.

-you are here ... - Brian whispered looking into his eyes.

Brian raised an eyebrow and put her hand to caress the silky hair of Justin. -Where should I be? -

-Nothing, from nowhere ... - whispered the other sitting down, and feeling like an idiot.

Even Brian sat in front of the blond, continuing to stroke his hair. -What did you dream? - Curious asked, tilting her head to one side.

-Being at Disneyland riding a unicorn .- Justin said sarcastically.

-Mmm ... from your expression it seems that Mickey Mouse tried to rape .-

-Something like that ... - the boy breathe slowly, looking down. The dark

let fall back again, collapsing on the pillow and dragging Justin on himself.

-Cos' you really wanted? -

After a few moments of silence, in which Brian thought that Justin had gone back to sleep, they decided to respond. -I searched for you, and you were not there ... it was gone. Nowhere. You were gone, gone ... No one knew where the hell I was, you had abandoned all ... Michael, I .- His voice broke in the last syllable Brian and hugged him stronger though.

-Justin, was only a dream. I'm not going anywhere, it seems now clear to everyone that my life is destined to end in glorious Pittsburgh .- He tried to reassure the man, with ill-concealed a note of irritation in his voice.

-Do not leave me ... - Justin groaned against Brian's chest, as if he had heard not a word of what he had said the man.

Brian, in normal circumstances would have said that they were not kept together and that if that speech would have come a fucking tooth decay, but Justin was on the verge of tears, and Brian had not seen him so vulnerable for years. -Have you been

you to let me love .- The words escaped from his mouth before he could block them.

-Ed was the biggest mistake of my life -

Brian just smiled. -So relaxed Sunshine taught me not to repeat the mistakes of others .-

**

The first step of Justin on the soil of New York is accompanied by the overwhelming memory of that evening , has the stomach tight in a vise and bent, as if the guilt for being once again to have hurt him more thrust Brian had a physical presence and thinking like a boulder on his shoulders. For all air travel has done nothing but think about the meaning of terror that caused him to even think of the possible death of Brian. Yet it is always him to abandon it, always . Per thousand, selfish reasons. God, just as if the world revolved around Justin Taylor. A stupid kid who wants to Brian Kinney, love always, a family, a house, a career and discards it when it gets one thing, to switch to another thing that maybe can not, and they are desperate. Understand why only now, after a very short flight, did not understand in what year?

Justin shoves his hand into the right pocket of his jeans and pulls out his cell phone, furiously pressing the green button to turn it on. Type the number of Brian, and bring the phone to your ear. Rings empty for some time and panic invades the bowels of the boy. Shit, did not he go before you go, he let me sleep, too cowardly to stand a good-bye. Another of his cock out of selfish. Taylor Congratulations, this is the good time that you cut all ties with .

-Ready? - Brian's voice sounds hoarse and ears to Justin metal, but the guy is like starting to breathe.

-.- I'm sorry you feel

Brian sighed. -What the fuck are you talking about? - Question after a moment of silence.

-You know. I'm sorry for always have been so selfish for having decided to ... -

-Do not you dare to say! - The Brian interrupted, sternly. -Do not apologize for shit. Unless you had gone, I would have beaten out I kick your ass. Rather, tell me how was your trip .-

-I did not do anything but think how stupid I am sincerely .- Respond Justin, noticing a bit of 'melodramatic.

-No Sex at high altitude? -

-No .-

The blond nodded

Brian feels to himself. -Yes, you really are an idiot .-

-Brian, seriously, I ... -

-Justin! Seriously, stop! You should apologize to me, with yourself and with everyone who has believed in you and in your art if I had not left! Now, you tell me something meaningful or do you have to slam the phone down? -

Justin bites his lower lip and was silent, listening to Brian's breathing through the microphone. If he closes his eyes, it's almost as if Brian was there, beside him, but then he opens them again, and is only in the middle of the chaotic airport in New York.

-I'll be back soon .- Whispers in the end, with no response. -I love you, Brian .- Adds, feeling that to have to say.

Cade again the silence between them and Justin has the crazy feeling that Brian's going to shut the phone down.

-I love you too, Ray of the Sun - I hear her sigh, before the call is interrupted.